Love is a Choice..

 Love is a choice, not a feeling ..

It's love when two people are choosing each other under any circumstances. 

It's when someone choosing a person even though he/she had million reasons to leave . 

It's love when someone chooses you over and over again without a doubt with all the choices that are available to them.

Everything else you hear about love are just meaningless words.

Random thoughts !

 You are an overflowing river , yet you didn't quench my thirst...

- V

Solitude

You are sad,
You feel pain.
But it makes you feel alive.

You live to fight these emotional demons within you,
Not knowing what or who is pulling you down .
Maybe it's him, maybe it's her or maybe it's them,
And  then you realize that it's you.

Because it is you who hold the key to your freedom,
Freedom from the conflicts and the pain.
Free your soul so you can taste solitude -the state of loving yourself
And not needing him, her or them !

-Vinu 

Where did we fail for Shehala Sherin ?

I do not know where to begin as I write in grief hearing about the passing of 10 year old Shehala Sherin who as bitten by a snake in her classroom . Her teacher refused to believe the child and hence delayed taking her to hospital . This happened in the very place where students call their second home .

Kerala is considered to be one of the most literate state in India . But we fail in so many ways when it come to safety and hygiene.
This particular school Shehala studied in didn't have proper first aid facilities :(.. Isn't that one of the most important facility required. Our attitude towards safety has to change. I have come across many people in my life where they crib about wearing a helmet while riding a bike. Why is wearing a helmet even an option when you life is at stake. The logic and the rule on state that only the rider need to wear it confuses my mind because when a bike falls co passenger falls too ..even if there is no written rule in book to wear helmet for a co passenger shouldn't that be self thought .
In India you can find not two but four in a family ride with only the father wearing a helmet and the three other not wearing . Who is responsible for the safety of the wife and kids ? People blame the roads and poor governance( which is another topic in itself) but isn't that good enough reason to wear helmet 😐.

Another common sight  is a parent  sitting in front seat with a baby . Most dangerous place for a baby is in the hands of a mother /father sitting in front seat. A sudden break and the first person to hit the dashboard is your child ..the very person you are suppose to protect . When we have decided to have a child certain compromises have to be made to ensure the safety of your child ...like sit at the rear seat with your baby and not in front with your husband/wife . Get a car seat ..strap you child safely ,,

Teach young children these important safety  instructions rather than to compete with each other for marks.. And stop mocking people who talks about safety, who ask you to wear  a helmet while cycling ,wear knee pad while cycling , stop mocking people who get car seats for their child, stop treating safety and hygiene as luxury when it is the only thing at matters at the end of the day ..

We lost a young girl to ensure maintenance is done across all government schools. May your soul rest
in peace little angel..May your family find justice for you.

Stop blaming each other and lets do our bit for ourselves.. 

About beauty

We will feel as beautiful or happy as we feel within ;and not as we appear outwards.😇 (as thought by me :) )

Random thoughts about life

I am a mother now :)... It is one of the best feelings in the world. My son is 7 years old, and I enjoy learning things from him. Being a parent is fun but not easy all the time. However, I have become more confident as a person since becoming a mother. I have started doing things I have always wanted to do. I don't know where that strength comes from, but I feel it is coming from a place where I want my child to see that one should dream fearlessly and make things happen.

Yes, he makes me want to set goals for myself. He makes me want to learn to dance, to perform, to watch the stars, to play, to cook, to be kind to others, to stay fit, to sing, to travel more, to be independent, to love better, to laugh harder, to cry and wipe off my tears, and much more.

That's what kids teach us: to rekindle every moment we forgot to live because we were busy trying to look pretty, find that perfect job, or please others by trying to be perfect. I now know there is no need to be perfect because no one is, and I want every child to know that it is okay to make mistakes as long as we learn from them. Let us, grown-ups, not put that pressure on our kids because they love us just the way we are, with all our flaws.

When he is upset, all he wants is my hug to make him feel better or a word of appreciation for his little achievements, as simple as brushing his teeth by himself. In the end, all that we, as adults, want too, is just to be appreciated for being ourselves. Let's do that for our kids and for grown-ups and create a better, more empathetic world for all of us.

It's the little things in life....

It's the little things in life that truly matter .....Many have said this before and will say it again now and for times to come. But in our ever so busy life forget what or who really matters. We take for granted the moments and people that truly matter to us .

We think it is better to a million likes in social media while ignoring the opinion and feelings of people we meet and see everyday. I have come across people who do not talk to people who are right in front of them while they are busy texting away to someone so far away . (Me included sometimes )
I wanted to put down my thoughts and my beautiful moments that I cherish in my life so far. :)
In my journey so far I have come across many people who have made my wishes and dreams come true and supporting me and making this existence worth while . Ok this might sound like an Oscar thank you speech but oh well here goes :).........

First and foremost my parents : They are responsible for my existence for which I will be ever so grateful for gifting me this life . Parents touch your life in a different way . We learn a lot from them by watching them do things  as in how they solved problems , what sacrifices they made for my siblings and I , how they asked us to be strong and face each problem boldly without giving up . I remember how my Mom would always ask us to be educated and independent or how my Dad said that "it's not the end of world and there's always a next time " each time we encountered a failure be it in exams or sports or not getting through an interview or personal reasons . All these little words but important ones makes me who I am and be the best version of myself .

My Grandparents : Appachan and Valiya mummy They are resting in peace now . But I cannot put in words how they have shaped my thoughts and actions. My grand parents were very progressive in their thoughts. Both of them were working in the education sector and believed in their children and grandkids getting educated and employed . They were very also active members in church and this has inspired me to work closely with church .

I fondly remember the letters we wrote to each other and my grand father asking me to remember Psalm 23 at all times of my life . I love you Appacha and I can still clearly remember the look in your eyes the day I was leaving to the airport and I never saw you after that :(... But I am so glad and proud to be your first grandchild and how you were so happy to have me around you :)
My grandma its been two years since you left us and I regret that I never told you too often how much I loved you . You and I had many arguments because of course I was rebellious and you were so understanding of all my craziness:).. You are one of the strongest woman I know and knew . I remember fondly all the stories you would tell me at night and I would sleep off half way and you would keep calling my name in between to make sure I was listening :) .. I miss making those late night calls to you whenever I was feeling low . But you remain my inspiration on how to live life fearlessly and be independent because I have seen you handle many challenges in life with your head held high and  I still wish I knew the secret of your hair not greying till the age of 85 :)

Then my siblings ( V & V) ..We have had endless fun , fights, fall backs, tears and laughter but through it all managed to stick together and that cycle of fun, fights fall backs... continues :)

From this point I am just going to mention my precious moments that have touched my heart and soul so that I remember it just in case Alzheimer's kick in :)

• I cannot and will never forget the feeling I got when my son R, only a day old, with this tiny  hands held my hand (my index finger to be specific) . That was a moment of pure love and joy

• Meeting my favorite tennis player Rafael Nadal will not count as a little moment as it was a huge moment for me  but I thank A for showing the enthusiasm to buy the tickets to watch the tournament.

•  "Look at the sky , there's rainbow." V said to me. I would have missed that beautiful sight if I was not asked to keep quiet from my chirping and look at the sky :)

• While in college  I got the opportunity to do a project at NISH (an institution catering to the education of kids with speech and hearing impairment) . I watched them communicate in sign language and that is a moment I felt I was at a disadvantage as I was not able to understand anything they were communicating among each other . But their twinkling eyes , laughter and joy was a wonderful moment to watch because they were truly happy and they don't need the so called "normal " to make them feel any special than they already are .

• D, my bff every little moments we have shared from school until now. Our little arguments and making up after that. We have wished each other on valentines day :) and dedicated songs to each other , written letters to each other and never forgets each others birthday ever(  of course  you always love to remind me that I get a year older, a month before you do :)).. I wish we stay this way for many years to come

• My history teacher for  showing me that being honest is not bad at all :).. Let me tell you the story .. When I was in the 9th grade my dad bought some books from a salesman and he asked for references and I gave him my history teacher's phone number (without asking his permission) . And of course my teacher was not pleased and he didn't know who had given the number to the salesman. During the history hour my sir mentioned this incident and was not pleased and was wondering who gave his number and I saw that he was really angry but I stood up and I said " Sir , I gave your number". He was quiet and walked up to me and said  that  he was very angry that I had given the number without taking his permission , but he is very happy that I as honest to tell him that I had given the number . I actually calmed down and was relieved . I leant two important lessons that day ... one when ever someone ask information about other people always check if they are ok with me sharing it and two to be honest is much easier and save us from the trouble of cooking up stories to cover up a single lie. I am so glad he decided not to shout and rather appreciate honesty and this is something I practice with my son now ::)

• All the little lessons I learnt about people and life from my travels ( this will require another write up in itself :))... being lucky enough to see the humpback whales in the middle of the ocean :)

This isn't it but I stop here .And I am truly thankful for all the people that touched my life and my journey so far.. all these has made me face my fears and doubts and believe in myself ..